Hi Friends
It's been a while, hasn't it?
I think the best way to explain how we're in the last bits of January is to tell you what I told Lee a few days ago...
We started off the year with positivity and excitement because we have such big plans for this year and I think G-d has just sent EVERY crazy thing our way.
Lee started work - I hate this even more than he does. Going from every second spent together to seeing him at 6AM and only again at 6PM has not been an easy or fun thing to accept. Nonetheless, I've decided to get up *with* him at 6 in order to get in just a little more time with him before we both go our seperate ways to work. It's been notably better since.
As if all the major and minor changes that this year has brought about in our schedules, friend groups and social lives weren't enough, another bomb hit last week when my grandfather was admitted to Hospice because his cancer has spread all over and because the pain has become too much for him to handle. For those of you who do not know what Hospice is, you can read more about the wonderful work they do here.
I found out about the levity of this bout of illness he was going through and made immediate plans to rush through to the branch where he was being cared for. I truly did not expect what I found. My dear, always-cheerful and ready-for-a-laugh Oupa was incoherent. In fact he didn't even recognize me when I stepped up to hold his hand. My parents, whom I am not on good terms with were both there and showed no physical signs of emotional hurt. I was crying uncontrollably in seconds. I couldn't stop the emotions that were flowing through me.
My Oupa is truly a pillar of strength and spiritual stature to many who know him. He has had so much good to contribute to the lives of those whom he has touched. And to think that this sweet man who was always ready to offer a hand of acceptance and love cannot even recognize the people around him, makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach.
This has taken such an emotional toll on me, and although my grandfather remains in a critical condition, we all know that his time is near.
I have learnt that time is not something that we can control and measure out when it suits us and that making the best of our valued relationships is the only way to avoid regret.
Have a wonderful week ahead friends.
wends x
A lot going on...
